My friend and I has a per previous post arranged dinner for a lot of families/individuals in need in the week coming up to Christmas.
We then had the last one collected on Christmas eve at approx 2pm.
It was then our turn to set to and sort our own Christmas out for our families.
I am renound for being last minute for shopping and last year was no exception off I went to buy gifts, food shop, I managed all of it in around 2 hours just as well really as the shops do close early!!!
On arriving back I started to wrap presents and kept an eye on the turkey which I always cook for far longer than is needed but like it cooked long and slowly on Christmas eve, my friend was doing much the same at her house.
We recieved an email from a lady at around 7pm, she was in a sorry state, her partner had attacked her and she wanted some advice on where she could go on Christmas eve, her partner had been arrested but it was unclear if he would be held overnight or bailed until after Christmas so she needed to leave as a matter of urgency.
You may or may not know but the Refuge is usually full and on Christmas eve if your local one is full then there is little option of travelling to another one.
We had an added difficulty in that this poor lady had a range of pets that she would not leave and requested that we try to rehome them, yes on Christmas eve, there were 7 altogether, so we set about mailing people and posting in our usual way for urgent help, thankfully the help was offered in abundance.
I set off to drive to the ladies house where I would meet a male friend of ours who insisted that I shouldnt go alone, good advice from him.
We arrived and it was pouring with rain and seems very cold it was now approx 9pm.
The lady came to the door and just sobbed, I gave her a cuddle, from there our male friend met everyone who was coming to take the pets and sorted that out whilst I made sure that the lady had all of her important items, bank card, passport, any other id she might have and also any imprtant pictures, this came from v.painful experience when I went into a refuge and lost every single baby picture of 2 of my children, everything else can be replaced but pictures cannot.
My friend that was still at home was co-ordinating emails etc from this end and we managed to find a family that this lady knew who quite by chance we had provided Christmas dinner for who were willing and able to take this lady in for Christmas.
We finished sorting everything out at around 2am.
Was it worth it, oh yes, I would do it again if asked as would my friend, to know that one person is safe was definitely worth everything.
I should add that this lady now has a new life a long way from here and we hope that she will be very happy.
Sunday 29 July 2012
Who cares?
Time and again we are asked, "why do you do what you do"
The common perception is that most people who fall on hard times are soley to blame for their situation, not true at all.
We had a lady contact us to ask for help with some food for a relative, she didnt have to go into as much detail as she chose to, however it transpired that the man she needed help for his daughter had so sadly taken her own life in the most tragic of circumstances.
The man had not only to deal with the grief of losing his beloved daughter but also had to deal with the reality that he was £5 per week over the cut of point for qualifying for help with the funeral costs.
The family were doing all the could to help but they were also feeling the strain and couldnt do everything.
It was approaching Christmas 2011 and I dont know if others will agree that any tragedy is magnified when it is near to Christmas, we really felt for this family.
We provided food that would see him through a week which was so gratefully received when collected by the lady who had contacted us.
On Christmas eve we were so busy(thats a whole now story) in the middle of the mayhem we took a call from a man who was out shopping with his family and for whatever reason he had decided that he wanted to provide a full dinner with all the trimmings for a family and asked if we could find a family that would appreciate it, oh yes we could certainly do that.
We contacted the family and they were completely overwhelmed, the huge box of food which included absolutely everything they could need and more arrived at approx 1pm on Christmas eve and by 2pm it was collected.
We recieved an email some days later to say that they had had a lovely family Christmas dinner and that they were as a family looking forward rather than back, what a lovely email that was.
The common perception is that most people who fall on hard times are soley to blame for their situation, not true at all.
We had a lady contact us to ask for help with some food for a relative, she didnt have to go into as much detail as she chose to, however it transpired that the man she needed help for his daughter had so sadly taken her own life in the most tragic of circumstances.
The man had not only to deal with the grief of losing his beloved daughter but also had to deal with the reality that he was £5 per week over the cut of point for qualifying for help with the funeral costs.
The family were doing all the could to help but they were also feeling the strain and couldnt do everything.
It was approaching Christmas 2011 and I dont know if others will agree that any tragedy is magnified when it is near to Christmas, we really felt for this family.
We provided food that would see him through a week which was so gratefully received when collected by the lady who had contacted us.
On Christmas eve we were so busy(thats a whole now story) in the middle of the mayhem we took a call from a man who was out shopping with his family and for whatever reason he had decided that he wanted to provide a full dinner with all the trimmings for a family and asked if we could find a family that would appreciate it, oh yes we could certainly do that.
We contacted the family and they were completely overwhelmed, the huge box of food which included absolutely everything they could need and more arrived at approx 1pm on Christmas eve and by 2pm it was collected.
We recieved an email some days later to say that they had had a lovely family Christmas dinner and that they were as a family looking forward rather than back, what a lovely email that was.
Saturday 28 July 2012
Imagine this if you can
We took a call about 6 months ago, the call came from a well known agency is all I can say at this point.
They had a man with them who desperately needed help.
This mans wife had died and for whatever reason on her dying he lost his accomodation, he had no friends or family to turn to and ended up living in one of our parks, imagine how awful that must be and how scary particulalry for someone recently bereaved, no one to talk to, no money, nothing to eat.
We were asked if we could provide some food for this man as he hadnt eaten anything for 7 days, 7 days without food, sleeping rough in the park, the weather was very wet at that time and it was also cold though thankfully this last winter wasnt as harsh as the previous 2.
We could of course but it presented another dilema, what can someone with no access to a kitchen actually eat that will suffice, we gave him tuna with ring pull lids, biscuits, orange juice, crisps, chocolate bars, we also put in some tins of beans with ring pull lids as awful as that sounds to have to eat cold beans we decided that cold beans was better than nothing, we also popped some tea bags and sachets of coffee and hot chocolate in the hope that someone might just be kind enough to make this man a warm drink.
We never met the man personally but we were told that he sobbed on receiving the food.
It might sound bad that we dont meet everyone personally but we simply couldnt, we are so busy sorting the next family/individuals that it would be inpossible but aside of that the emotional cost to us is massive, you cannot help but worry about what happened to this man and all of the other people we have helped but never met, if we were to meet them all then we would probably bring them all home so we need to keep a detachment in order to protect ourselves although on occasions this has proved impossible.
They had a man with them who desperately needed help.
This mans wife had died and for whatever reason on her dying he lost his accomodation, he had no friends or family to turn to and ended up living in one of our parks, imagine how awful that must be and how scary particulalry for someone recently bereaved, no one to talk to, no money, nothing to eat.
We were asked if we could provide some food for this man as he hadnt eaten anything for 7 days, 7 days without food, sleeping rough in the park, the weather was very wet at that time and it was also cold though thankfully this last winter wasnt as harsh as the previous 2.
We could of course but it presented another dilema, what can someone with no access to a kitchen actually eat that will suffice, we gave him tuna with ring pull lids, biscuits, orange juice, crisps, chocolate bars, we also put in some tins of beans with ring pull lids as awful as that sounds to have to eat cold beans we decided that cold beans was better than nothing, we also popped some tea bags and sachets of coffee and hot chocolate in the hope that someone might just be kind enough to make this man a warm drink.
We never met the man personally but we were told that he sobbed on receiving the food.
It might sound bad that we dont meet everyone personally but we simply couldnt, we are so busy sorting the next family/individuals that it would be inpossible but aside of that the emotional cost to us is massive, you cannot help but worry about what happened to this man and all of the other people we have helped but never met, if we were to meet them all then we would probably bring them all home so we need to keep a detachment in order to protect ourselves although on occasions this has proved impossible.
Wednesday 25 July 2012
The foodbank
We started the foodbank as a direct result of being asked for food.
A family with a chronically disabled mother had had their benefits stopped and they turned to us in desperation.
The mother needed to eat in order to continue taking her medication and the rest of the family also needed food.
We called on friends and put out an appeal locally and within hours we had a whole weeks shopping for this family, my friend and I delivered it, the family were so grateful again for the kindness of strangers, the mother cried and later that evening mailed me to again say thank you and to tell us that they had taken pictures of the food.
That was the beginning and from there we are now helping on average 60/70 families a month alongside the parents and children we help with uniforms.
We have lots of well funded agencies who refer people to us ( I dislike the word clients) these agencies recieve lots of funding and pay very good wages to their staff yet they cannot feed and clothe people who are in desperate need, something wrong with that when we so far have managed completely unfunded for almost 9 years, yes you do have to be inventive and sometimes we do wonder if we can carry on BUT something always happens, a phone call will come from someone who wants to donate food or someone wil get in touch that we have helped in the past and it is that that keeps us going.
It is though getting harder to carry on, everything we do, we do from our own homes, we are fortunate in that we both have 4 bedroomed homes but when we one day got a delivery of 8.5 tons of uniforms( I do have pictures) our homes were full to bursting as was my friends garden.
Sometimes the children have come home from school to a house full of boxes and bin bags and we have left just enough room for them to sit down, they have never once complained and have always been eager to help sort through the bags and boxes, all of our children have a wonderful empathy for those less fortunate than themselves.
Not everyone we help is on benefits, the elderly really struggled through 2 severe winters so we made up what we called winter warmer packs, these consisted of a hot water bottle, a fleece blanket, horlicks, hot chocolate, tea, coffee, sugar and cup a soups, the theory being that as long as you can keep drinking hot drinks then your core temperature doesnt fall and you should be able to keep active, we were extremely fortunate that some very kind people donated money towards the cost of these items and others donated hot water bottles etc, it worked and the people we gave them to were very grateful to receive them.
We have a lady who knits blankets for us now, her husband has alzheimers and it is her way of having something to do during the day/night whilst she cares for him, she recieves no help at all as she would have to pay for the help and feels she cannot afford it, shameful that!!!!!!
When this lady calls us to say there are some blankets ready to collect we go and will stay to chat to her for a little while, it is something she looks forward to as it is again something for her and it is an escape for her to be able to have a conversation about anything and everything except alzheimers, it is so sad :(
A family with a chronically disabled mother had had their benefits stopped and they turned to us in desperation.
The mother needed to eat in order to continue taking her medication and the rest of the family also needed food.
We called on friends and put out an appeal locally and within hours we had a whole weeks shopping for this family, my friend and I delivered it, the family were so grateful again for the kindness of strangers, the mother cried and later that evening mailed me to again say thank you and to tell us that they had taken pictures of the food.
That was the beginning and from there we are now helping on average 60/70 families a month alongside the parents and children we help with uniforms.
We have lots of well funded agencies who refer people to us ( I dislike the word clients) these agencies recieve lots of funding and pay very good wages to their staff yet they cannot feed and clothe people who are in desperate need, something wrong with that when we so far have managed completely unfunded for almost 9 years, yes you do have to be inventive and sometimes we do wonder if we can carry on BUT something always happens, a phone call will come from someone who wants to donate food or someone wil get in touch that we have helped in the past and it is that that keeps us going.
It is though getting harder to carry on, everything we do, we do from our own homes, we are fortunate in that we both have 4 bedroomed homes but when we one day got a delivery of 8.5 tons of uniforms( I do have pictures) our homes were full to bursting as was my friends garden.
Sometimes the children have come home from school to a house full of boxes and bin bags and we have left just enough room for them to sit down, they have never once complained and have always been eager to help sort through the bags and boxes, all of our children have a wonderful empathy for those less fortunate than themselves.
Not everyone we help is on benefits, the elderly really struggled through 2 severe winters so we made up what we called winter warmer packs, these consisted of a hot water bottle, a fleece blanket, horlicks, hot chocolate, tea, coffee, sugar and cup a soups, the theory being that as long as you can keep drinking hot drinks then your core temperature doesnt fall and you should be able to keep active, we were extremely fortunate that some very kind people donated money towards the cost of these items and others donated hot water bottles etc, it worked and the people we gave them to were very grateful to receive them.
We have a lady who knits blankets for us now, her husband has alzheimers and it is her way of having something to do during the day/night whilst she cares for him, she recieves no help at all as she would have to pay for the help and feels she cannot afford it, shameful that!!!!!!
When this lady calls us to say there are some blankets ready to collect we go and will stay to chat to her for a little while, it is something she looks forward to as it is again something for her and it is an escape for her to be able to have a conversation about anything and everything except alzheimers, it is so sad :(
Single parents the myths
Single parents have in recent years become some of the most vilified members of our society fuelled by the press single parents are in some peoples eyes responsible for all the ills of the whole world!!!!!!
Myth most single parents did NOT decide to become a single parent as a career choice.
Myth most single parents dont sit around idle all day.
Myth most single parents do not go out and spend all of their benefit money on nights out.
In reality there is little research done to evidence the myth other than scaremongering when there is a story in the papers which "fits" the myth.
Have you noticed how Government ministers always draw up plans to withdraw benefits ie housing benefit, income support, jobseekers allowance etc, hmmmm judgemental and biased to say the least, I have yet to hear what they plan to do to a 2 parent family who own their own house but have a wayward teen/young adult?
Makes you think doesnt it.
Anti social behaviour is caused by a lot of different factors BUT it is NOT caused by single parents alone, of course it is ridiculous to suggest that non of the antisocial behavour comes from children of single parents but it is equally ridiculous to assume that non comes from a 2 paernt families child.
We meet single parents day in and day out who are wonderful parents, they are stuggling to cope primarily because this Government refuses to aknowledge the unique difficulties that single parents face when trying to secure employment, do they relaise that childcare for over 8`s is virtually non exsitant?
Where does a parent leave a child then once they reach 8 years, this Government would have you believe that is oh so simple, you rely on grandparents, friends etc, well that doesnt work for everyone, not everyone has parents and not everyone has a friend who doesnt work and who is willing to take a child for 13 weeks of the year while they are on school holidays, yes that sounds a lot doesnt it and for some single parents it has pushed them to breaking point, they dont know which way to turn, even those who have been in employment for a number of years are finding that they are having to cease working for lack of childcare once thier child reaches 8 years old!!!!!!
The pressure on parents as a whole has never been greater but on single parents it is becoming unbearable, something has to give.
There has been talk in recent months of schools opening for longer and possibly through the summer, hmmmm again would the children of single parents be forced to attend these after school and summer schools whilst the child of a 2 parent family doesnt have to?
No one seems willing to answer this question.
Single parents want help to make life better BUT not at the expense of never seeing their children, lets not forget that most single parents didnt actually want to be single parents and take their responsibilities towards their children very seriously, they put them 1st and MUST feel comfortable with any arrangements made for their childs care and wellbeing.
They dont want or expect specail treatment just fairness and for each case to be looked at individually as one size certainly does not fit all.
Interestingly this story appeared after I typed this page but I will include it now, it makes for interesting reading and backs up what we already know.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2178718/90-primary-pupils-sent-home-day-attacks-class-Shocking-figures-reveal-rising-school-violence.html
The biggest problem in my opinion is that a Governments have eroded parental rights, teachers rights and Police rights, basically we now have a system where the children in the UK rule us, this simply doesnt work for anyone, children thrive and actually like to have firm boundaries set, we need to get back to a system where the adults are in charge and not this topsy turvy way we have drifted into!!!!!
Myth most single parents did NOT decide to become a single parent as a career choice.
Myth most single parents dont sit around idle all day.
Myth most single parents do not go out and spend all of their benefit money on nights out.
In reality there is little research done to evidence the myth other than scaremongering when there is a story in the papers which "fits" the myth.
Have you noticed how Government ministers always draw up plans to withdraw benefits ie housing benefit, income support, jobseekers allowance etc, hmmmm judgemental and biased to say the least, I have yet to hear what they plan to do to a 2 parent family who own their own house but have a wayward teen/young adult?
Makes you think doesnt it.
Anti social behaviour is caused by a lot of different factors BUT it is NOT caused by single parents alone, of course it is ridiculous to suggest that non of the antisocial behavour comes from children of single parents but it is equally ridiculous to assume that non comes from a 2 paernt families child.
We meet single parents day in and day out who are wonderful parents, they are stuggling to cope primarily because this Government refuses to aknowledge the unique difficulties that single parents face when trying to secure employment, do they relaise that childcare for over 8`s is virtually non exsitant?
Where does a parent leave a child then once they reach 8 years, this Government would have you believe that is oh so simple, you rely on grandparents, friends etc, well that doesnt work for everyone, not everyone has parents and not everyone has a friend who doesnt work and who is willing to take a child for 13 weeks of the year while they are on school holidays, yes that sounds a lot doesnt it and for some single parents it has pushed them to breaking point, they dont know which way to turn, even those who have been in employment for a number of years are finding that they are having to cease working for lack of childcare once thier child reaches 8 years old!!!!!!
The pressure on parents as a whole has never been greater but on single parents it is becoming unbearable, something has to give.
There has been talk in recent months of schools opening for longer and possibly through the summer, hmmmm again would the children of single parents be forced to attend these after school and summer schools whilst the child of a 2 parent family doesnt have to?
No one seems willing to answer this question.
Single parents want help to make life better BUT not at the expense of never seeing their children, lets not forget that most single parents didnt actually want to be single parents and take their responsibilities towards their children very seriously, they put them 1st and MUST feel comfortable with any arrangements made for their childs care and wellbeing.
They dont want or expect specail treatment just fairness and for each case to be looked at individually as one size certainly does not fit all.
Interestingly this story appeared after I typed this page but I will include it now, it makes for interesting reading and backs up what we already know.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2178718/90-primary-pupils-sent-home-day-attacks-class-Shocking-figures-reveal-rising-school-violence.html
The biggest problem in my opinion is that a Governments have eroded parental rights, teachers rights and Police rights, basically we now have a system where the children in the UK rule us, this simply doesnt work for anyone, children thrive and actually like to have firm boundaries set, we need to get back to a system where the adults are in charge and not this topsy turvy way we have drifted into!!!!!
Who do we help
We will help anyone who is in need.
We have found that many of the larger organisations which are both well funded and well supported tend to have a lot of form filling before help can be obtained, this isnt to say they dont do a good job, however if you have a family who have no food or an person who needs food in order to take medication and they dont have any then it is ridiculous to ask these people to fill in forms to see if the fit the criteria.
We are often asked how we decide who to help, simple answer we will help anyone who needs it, it can be something as simple as sitting down with someone over a cup of tea/coffee and just listening to them while they talk through their day, week or sometimes they talk through their whole life, they dont want a magic wand waving and everything in the garden to be rosy, all these people really want is for someone to listen.
To give someone just a little of your time can make all the difference.
It is a very sad fact that loneliness is a killer and sometimes it is recognised that older people do get lonely and that is in the process of being addressed with a dedicated phone line being set up so that people of retirement age can call someone and be able to talk.
What appears to be little understood is that anyone can be lonely, and it is for that reason that we exclude no one and try our very best to include everyone.
My friend and I were walking through our city about 3 years ago now and right in front of us a man fell over, the street was full of people yet it was left to my friend and I to pick this man up and sit him on a bench, shocking isnt it!!!!!!!!!!
Why was this man who obviously needed help ignored, walked around and left by others, quite simply because he was a homeless man, he is a human being just like you and I and he needed help, thats all my friend and I saw.
Others saw the dirty clothes, the looks we got off people haunt me to this day, they looked at us as though we were mad, why would we want to help this man, they really didnt understand and IF they had helped him then they have to face an uncomfortable truth, this man really does exsist, where if they choose to ignore him then he is invisable!!!!!!!!
This man was lovely, yes he had "issues" but what none of the people who passed him by will ever know is that his partner had died less than 24 hours before, this man was devastated and didnt know what to do or how to begin to cope.
We sat him down and while my friend talked to him I went and got him a sandwich and a hot drink, we were then joined by a couple more homeless men who also wanted to tell us their story, the one that stood out most was the man who had had his own business as a landscape gardener, own home, beautiful wife and life was perfect, his beautiful wife then got cancer and sadly she died, the man couldnt cope, lost his business the his home and found himself on the streets where he turned to alcohol as a means of escape, an absolute tragedy.
The man who`s wife had died wasnt as engrained into the homeless world as the other 2 but there is little or no support out there for men like this, he should have recieved support way before he lost everything but didnt, the chances are that he will still be on the streets today.
People can be so judgemental re homelessness, I do hope they read my blog, if it makes one person stop and think the next time they cross over the street to avoid someone like the men we met that day then it will have been worth my writing this whole blog.
The one common thing that all of these men said they missed was human contact, you know a good old fashioned cuddle, not a lot to ask is it.
None of the men that day asked us for anything at all apart from a cuddle and a conversation which we glady gave, we stayed with them for about 2 hours.
We have found that many of the larger organisations which are both well funded and well supported tend to have a lot of form filling before help can be obtained, this isnt to say they dont do a good job, however if you have a family who have no food or an person who needs food in order to take medication and they dont have any then it is ridiculous to ask these people to fill in forms to see if the fit the criteria.
We are often asked how we decide who to help, simple answer we will help anyone who needs it, it can be something as simple as sitting down with someone over a cup of tea/coffee and just listening to them while they talk through their day, week or sometimes they talk through their whole life, they dont want a magic wand waving and everything in the garden to be rosy, all these people really want is for someone to listen.
To give someone just a little of your time can make all the difference.
It is a very sad fact that loneliness is a killer and sometimes it is recognised that older people do get lonely and that is in the process of being addressed with a dedicated phone line being set up so that people of retirement age can call someone and be able to talk.
What appears to be little understood is that anyone can be lonely, and it is for that reason that we exclude no one and try our very best to include everyone.
My friend and I were walking through our city about 3 years ago now and right in front of us a man fell over, the street was full of people yet it was left to my friend and I to pick this man up and sit him on a bench, shocking isnt it!!!!!!!!!!
Why was this man who obviously needed help ignored, walked around and left by others, quite simply because he was a homeless man, he is a human being just like you and I and he needed help, thats all my friend and I saw.
Others saw the dirty clothes, the looks we got off people haunt me to this day, they looked at us as though we were mad, why would we want to help this man, they really didnt understand and IF they had helped him then they have to face an uncomfortable truth, this man really does exsist, where if they choose to ignore him then he is invisable!!!!!!!!
This man was lovely, yes he had "issues" but what none of the people who passed him by will ever know is that his partner had died less than 24 hours before, this man was devastated and didnt know what to do or how to begin to cope.
We sat him down and while my friend talked to him I went and got him a sandwich and a hot drink, we were then joined by a couple more homeless men who also wanted to tell us their story, the one that stood out most was the man who had had his own business as a landscape gardener, own home, beautiful wife and life was perfect, his beautiful wife then got cancer and sadly she died, the man couldnt cope, lost his business the his home and found himself on the streets where he turned to alcohol as a means of escape, an absolute tragedy.
The man who`s wife had died wasnt as engrained into the homeless world as the other 2 but there is little or no support out there for men like this, he should have recieved support way before he lost everything but didnt, the chances are that he will still be on the streets today.
People can be so judgemental re homelessness, I do hope they read my blog, if it makes one person stop and think the next time they cross over the street to avoid someone like the men we met that day then it will have been worth my writing this whole blog.
The one common thing that all of these men said they missed was human contact, you know a good old fashioned cuddle, not a lot to ask is it.
None of the men that day asked us for anything at all apart from a cuddle and a conversation which we glady gave, we stayed with them for about 2 hours.
Helping put a smile on peoples faces
When we began to give out free school uniforms here, we were inundated with requests.
We used various means to communicate that we had them, local schools, local newspapers, freecycle and freegle and also word of mouth.
It took off in a big way and very quickly.
We lugged bin bags to coffee mornings, we laid them out on the front of our houses on a dry day.
Our aim was that no child should feel excluded or be bullied for lack of a decent clean school uniform, we also wanted to put a smile on a parents face and just ease the burden even if it was a temporary fix.
We soon realised that not only did people appreciate the help with uniforms but the felt comfortable enough to approach us rather than say the headteacher of the school to ask for help, after all we were just like them so the gap between school and parents with difficulties was bridged by us, that wasn`t something we had anticipated would happen but it was fine with us that it worked that way.
Parents would call for uniforms and while with us would ask for all manner of advice and we would signpost them in the direction of help or would make a phone call for them.
We had headteachers call us to ask for help and one that stays with me is the call we recieved to say that some of the children in this heads school not only didnt have uniforms but also didnt have any underwear, yes right here in the UK there are children that go to school but they dont have underwear.
We did have some donations which people had given when recieving their uniforms so we went and purchased a variety of both boys and girls underwear in various sizes and we took them to the school were the head cried and so did we!!!!!!!!!
We have also had occasions were a parent has had a child return from school with holes in their shoes so we go and buy the shoes for the child, we never give money out to anyone and they have all to date been fine with that.
We have also found that the people we help always want to pay if forward and so many of them have done so, that is a wonderful thing to see when a family who has struggled then help another family with an act of kindness.
We used various means to communicate that we had them, local schools, local newspapers, freecycle and freegle and also word of mouth.
It took off in a big way and very quickly.
We lugged bin bags to coffee mornings, we laid them out on the front of our houses on a dry day.
Our aim was that no child should feel excluded or be bullied for lack of a decent clean school uniform, we also wanted to put a smile on a parents face and just ease the burden even if it was a temporary fix.
We soon realised that not only did people appreciate the help with uniforms but the felt comfortable enough to approach us rather than say the headteacher of the school to ask for help, after all we were just like them so the gap between school and parents with difficulties was bridged by us, that wasn`t something we had anticipated would happen but it was fine with us that it worked that way.
Parents would call for uniforms and while with us would ask for all manner of advice and we would signpost them in the direction of help or would make a phone call for them.
We had headteachers call us to ask for help and one that stays with me is the call we recieved to say that some of the children in this heads school not only didnt have uniforms but also didnt have any underwear, yes right here in the UK there are children that go to school but they dont have underwear.
We did have some donations which people had given when recieving their uniforms so we went and purchased a variety of both boys and girls underwear in various sizes and we took them to the school were the head cried and so did we!!!!!!!!!
We have also had occasions were a parent has had a child return from school with holes in their shoes so we go and buy the shoes for the child, we never give money out to anyone and they have all to date been fine with that.
We have also found that the people we help always want to pay if forward and so many of them have done so, that is a wonderful thing to see when a family who has struggled then help another family with an act of kindness.
Recieving tons of uniforms
My friend and I have 7 children between us, I have 5 and my friend 2.
When we went to shop for school uniforms in the 1st year that we met we we horrified that it cost the best part of £500 to kit out each of 6 children(one being too young for school) and we realised that many other parents must be struggling so we approached all our local primary schools and asked them to ask parents to donate uniforms that were outgrown but in good condition, we started all of this with one very small carrier bag of seconhand uniforms.
It soon became obvious that the need was far larger than we had anticipated so we set out trying to source uniform items, how fortunate we were that a very well known uniform manufacturer listened to us and decided to help.
That was the start of us receiveing everything they couldnt use and when I say everything I mean coats, trousers, rugby shirts, football socks, shirts, dresses, skirts, you name it we had it, not by the single item we had ton after ton of it!!!!!!!
We formulated a plan whereby we took everything out that could be used here for children and the items that had logo`s on that were for schools miles away we contacted various charities who were very happy to take them abroad.
We managed to kit out a whole school in Sierra Leone, some went to children in Nepal, Kenya,Zambia, we also has the honour to be able to give some to the Children of Chernobyl who were over here for respite, these children are brought over to the UK for one month a year and are given fresh fruit and vitamins to try to stave off the lasting effects of the radiation, they are all very pale when they arrive but they thrive off the good food and clean air.
We were invited to go to our local high school where these children would be performing a dance routine for invited guests.
We arrived and nothing can prepare you for the emotional effect of meeting these children, they were so polite, well mannered and all of them smiled.
My friend and I stood and watched the children perform and they were wonderful.
When they had finished, we were called to be presented with a medal by the children to say thank you for helping them by providing a mini bus full of clothes for them to both wear here and to take home with them.
It is difficult to convey how hard it was to accept the medal from the children, we would much rather have been presenting them with one.
That was about 7 years ago now and to this day it is one of my most treasured items, we often wonder how the children we met are doing and how life will turn out for them as they become adults.
When we went to shop for school uniforms in the 1st year that we met we we horrified that it cost the best part of £500 to kit out each of 6 children(one being too young for school) and we realised that many other parents must be struggling so we approached all our local primary schools and asked them to ask parents to donate uniforms that were outgrown but in good condition, we started all of this with one very small carrier bag of seconhand uniforms.
It soon became obvious that the need was far larger than we had anticipated so we set out trying to source uniform items, how fortunate we were that a very well known uniform manufacturer listened to us and decided to help.
That was the start of us receiveing everything they couldnt use and when I say everything I mean coats, trousers, rugby shirts, football socks, shirts, dresses, skirts, you name it we had it, not by the single item we had ton after ton of it!!!!!!!
We formulated a plan whereby we took everything out that could be used here for children and the items that had logo`s on that were for schools miles away we contacted various charities who were very happy to take them abroad.
We managed to kit out a whole school in Sierra Leone, some went to children in Nepal, Kenya,Zambia, we also has the honour to be able to give some to the Children of Chernobyl who were over here for respite, these children are brought over to the UK for one month a year and are given fresh fruit and vitamins to try to stave off the lasting effects of the radiation, they are all very pale when they arrive but they thrive off the good food and clean air.
We were invited to go to our local high school where these children would be performing a dance routine for invited guests.
We arrived and nothing can prepare you for the emotional effect of meeting these children, they were so polite, well mannered and all of them smiled.
My friend and I stood and watched the children perform and they were wonderful.
When they had finished, we were called to be presented with a medal by the children to say thank you for helping them by providing a mini bus full of clothes for them to both wear here and to take home with them.
It is difficult to convey how hard it was to accept the medal from the children, we would much rather have been presenting them with one.
That was about 7 years ago now and to this day it is one of my most treasured items, we often wonder how the children we met are doing and how life will turn out for them as they become adults.
Tuesday 24 July 2012
The beginning
My friend and I started to do what we do almost 9 years ago now.
We met under strange circumstances, her now ex husband who I had known many years earlier as my eldest son had his eldest daughter were at nursery together, fast forward 15 years, this man drove by our house and was asking if anyone had seen his sons bicycle which had been stolen that evening, everyone said they hadnt and that was that, well till 11pm that night when I heard a loud knock at the door, the man from earlier was stood there and started to tell me my name and where I came from, hmmmmm bit of a shock as I didnt recognise him at all.
I did eventually recognise him but it had been 15 years!!!!!
This man became my stalker to the point that I informed a close friend that if anything happened to me then it would be down to him.
One day he brought his wife over and introduced us, she was lovely.
I invited her and her youngest son to my little boys birthday party and at the party I told her that I could only be friends with her if I could be completely honest with her, I then told her that her husband was stalking me, she looked straight at me and said dont worry I am divorcing him he is a bully, from that day on we have had a wonderful friendship and from there we developed what we have done for the last 9 years and still continue to this day.
I should add that the soon to be ex husband blamed me not only for this divorce but also for the 1st one 15 years previously, he to this day takes no responsibility whatsoever for his behaviour towards ladies and has now no contact with his 2 sons which has been 100% his choice, he doesnt know what he is missing both boys are growing into fine young men.
My friend had a terrible time when she 1st left, we managed to secure temporary accomodation and moved her during the day while the husband was out, we used baked bean tins to dismantle bunk beds and moved everything in an old Ford Escort.
One month later after endless phone calls we secured her a house only 4 doors away from me, it was the safest place on earth for her to be as she would have immediate support if it was needed and as was proved it worked very well.
The house had no glass in the windows, no gas no electric and was poorly decorated but we worked hard, I cooked all the meals here and we got a sofa bed which my friend slept on whilst the boys slept in the bunk beds, it might sound terrible to think that someone would live like that but it was heaven on earth for them because they were safe and there is no other feeling like that.
I myself had been both homeless with 2 young children and in a wonens refuge with 3 young children almost 21 years ago now and I always promised that I would give something back for the kindness shown to me at the most difficult times in my life when complete strangers offered me a hand up, I have never and will never forget a single one of them and thank them all from the bottom of my heart for helping me then and for helping me to become who I am today.
We met under strange circumstances, her now ex husband who I had known many years earlier as my eldest son had his eldest daughter were at nursery together, fast forward 15 years, this man drove by our house and was asking if anyone had seen his sons bicycle which had been stolen that evening, everyone said they hadnt and that was that, well till 11pm that night when I heard a loud knock at the door, the man from earlier was stood there and started to tell me my name and where I came from, hmmmmm bit of a shock as I didnt recognise him at all.
I did eventually recognise him but it had been 15 years!!!!!
This man became my stalker to the point that I informed a close friend that if anything happened to me then it would be down to him.
One day he brought his wife over and introduced us, she was lovely.
I invited her and her youngest son to my little boys birthday party and at the party I told her that I could only be friends with her if I could be completely honest with her, I then told her that her husband was stalking me, she looked straight at me and said dont worry I am divorcing him he is a bully, from that day on we have had a wonderful friendship and from there we developed what we have done for the last 9 years and still continue to this day.
I should add that the soon to be ex husband blamed me not only for this divorce but also for the 1st one 15 years previously, he to this day takes no responsibility whatsoever for his behaviour towards ladies and has now no contact with his 2 sons which has been 100% his choice, he doesnt know what he is missing both boys are growing into fine young men.
My friend had a terrible time when she 1st left, we managed to secure temporary accomodation and moved her during the day while the husband was out, we used baked bean tins to dismantle bunk beds and moved everything in an old Ford Escort.
One month later after endless phone calls we secured her a house only 4 doors away from me, it was the safest place on earth for her to be as she would have immediate support if it was needed and as was proved it worked very well.
The house had no glass in the windows, no gas no electric and was poorly decorated but we worked hard, I cooked all the meals here and we got a sofa bed which my friend slept on whilst the boys slept in the bunk beds, it might sound terrible to think that someone would live like that but it was heaven on earth for them because they were safe and there is no other feeling like that.
I myself had been both homeless with 2 young children and in a wonens refuge with 3 young children almost 21 years ago now and I always promised that I would give something back for the kindness shown to me at the most difficult times in my life when complete strangers offered me a hand up, I have never and will never forget a single one of them and thank them all from the bottom of my heart for helping me then and for helping me to become who I am today.
Day 1
The aim of this blog is to try to communicate to anyone who reads just what life is like to be poor in the UK in 2012, to try to dispel some of the myths that have arisen in recent months and to explain how my friend and I help others on a daily basis.
I might not blog every day but you will soon get a picture of who we are and what we do.
I do hope that in writing this it might help even just one person to feel better about their situation no matter what it might be.
Some of the things you read will be difficult to comprehend but every single word will be true.
Please always remember there is help out there for everyone, it isnt always easy to find and definitely isnt easy to ask for, if you cant find the help then ask me and I will try to point you in the right direction.
I might not blog every day but you will soon get a picture of who we are and what we do.
I do hope that in writing this it might help even just one person to feel better about their situation no matter what it might be.
Some of the things you read will be difficult to comprehend but every single word will be true.
Please always remember there is help out there for everyone, it isnt always easy to find and definitely isnt easy to ask for, if you cant find the help then ask me and I will try to point you in the right direction.
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